So why don’t you come with me as I liveblog a fun-filled foodie adventure for a man who can only reliably cook one dish.
Is it everything you want
Is it everything you need
Is it all you want inside of you that you could never eat
Do you taste all the right things
At exactly exactly the right times
But you can’t stop pooping and you don’t know why
Panoramas from Barnegat Lighthouse.
Welcome to the future.
Turn your hand over, dummy, you have an email.
Why are you looking at your watch while you’re holding your goddamn phone you dipshit. Look at your phone. Not the watch. The phone.
Fine. Be that way. Touch the watch with your only hand without technology. Consider buying another phone for your non-phone hand. Perhaps it’s lonely without a phone to hold.
You recorded this with your Google Glass, didn’t you?
Why am I even asking, of course you did.
Where’s my goddamn yacht
… and the cops can’t do shit
I am obsessed.
Behind the scenes of GroupMe’s new emoji, including one of the best pictures I’ve taken of Neil.